Those darn flashbacks..

Olaaaa :) hm today is Valentines Day. And I'm celebrating it with.. *drum roll* JENG JENG JENGGGG.. No one!!! Yayyy me~ Forever alone haha. Alaaa if I have someone pun, still I won't celebrate it anyway. Its awkward. And weird. Idk why. Maybe it's because I never celebrate it with the right guy :') hahaha. Hm. I'm chatting with Aqeef now :) I like him soooooo much! He's a sweet guy! He's adorable, he's funny, he's romantic.. In a clear statement, he's a dream boyfriend :) But unfortunately, we don't share the same religion. That's the most important thing tau for me to look forward for a long-term relationship. It's not that I don't like Muslim. But I'm that kind of girl who takes relationship very seriously. You know what I mean right? I always looking forward to have future together. Yeah it's really lame, I know. And I know a lot of guys hate that kinda girl. They'd be like "What the hell is wrong with this freakin' gurlllll?!" Hahahaha almost like that laa. But it's common apa. Girls always imagine to have future with their beloved one. According to their man's attitude laa. If rasa okay, there's a chance to have a bright future together. Happy family lalalaaaa hahaha like that laa. Lama dah saya x rasa camtu. Well hello? Earth to Joanna, of course laa, its been em.. 11 months I've been single. What the! Almost a year hahaha. Seriously dude, didn't realize it till now. I never count it haha. Funny. How time flies fast. And I didn't feel lonely pun. I'm not desperate to get into a relationship. I AM PICKY you knowww. I'm not that kinda girl who desperately jumps into a relationship with someone who I just met. Or someone who I knew from a friend that I never meet face to face. Really! What is it with those type of girls? Especially those who cannot stand to be single. Excuse me, I've been single for 11 months and I'm still breathing --" No offense but I got a friend that's just like that. But I won't mention her name laa cause I love her. To bits! Although sometimes I feel pity with her. She always got into an unhealthy relationship. Like, really unhealthy! She numerously has relationship with those jerks who just wanted her body. After got what they want, the dumped her. Like the saying that goes "habis madu, sepah dibuang". Soooooo cruel. Those guys don't have real balls. Pardon my inappropriate language. Let me share something private. I've been in 7 relationships. Almost all of em are Muslims. 6/7 to be exact. 3/7 are those JERKS. Hubungan belum sampai sebulan sudah minta lebih. Pathetic. They obviously got the wrong girl. Ingat virginity bole kasi balik ka? Kalau banyak berjual di mana-mana pasar raya like Giant, Bestmart, Servay, Tesco or other shopping malls lama sudah saya pajak banyak-banyak. Ishh mun mau melepas nafsu bagus pergi langgan prostitutes sejaa. Nah kn geram sudah saya haha. Hm tukar tajuk. Major my EX-es were not my type. I don't really have a type but, You know what I mean right? Tapi saya perasaan sayang tu memang ada laaa. No matter la tahap "sangat" or "sangat sangat sangat" haha. But I don't know why.. Out of all the relationships I had, there's only one guy that I really really REALLY love. But he's not mine. We were not in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" title. I love him for his personality. Then everything about him seemed beautiful in my eyes.. Thats probably the most appropriate way to be in love with someone I think. To be honest, I never thought I would fall for him. Its way out of my expectations. I fell in love with him slowly. It took times. Not like the sudden feelings I had with the other EX-es. And thats why for me to forget him really took a very long time. Until now, deep in my heart, I know those feelings for him still remains there somewhere.. I just don't wanna look for it anymore. Bikin sakit hati jaa. Ughhh. Atukuiiii I wrote too much haha. Jiwang karat yawww! K laa I'm super duper sleepy now. Wanna sleep already. Tatatataaaa good night :D God bless :)