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Saturday, February 15, 2014

Those darn flashbacks..

Olaaaa :) hm today is Valentines Day. And I'm celebrating it with.. *drum roll* JENG JENG JENGGGG.. No one!!! Yayyy me~ Forever alone haha. Alaaa if I have someone pun, still I won't celebrate it anyway. Its awkward. And weird. Idk why. Maybe it's because I never celebrate it with the right guy :') hahaha. Hm. I'm chatting with Aqeef now :) I like him soooooo much! He's a sweet guy! He's adorable, he's funny, he's romantic.. In a clear statement, he's a dream boyfriend :) But unfortunately, we don't share the same religion. That's the most important thing tau for me to look forward for a long-term relationship. It's not that I don't like Muslim. But I'm that kind of girl who takes relationship very seriously. You know what I mean right? I always looking forward to have future together. Yeah it's really lame, I know. And I know a lot of guys hate that kinda girl. They'd be like "What the hell is wrong with this freakin' gurlllll?!" Hahahaha almost like that laa. But it's common apa. Girls always imagine to have future with their beloved one. According to their man's attitude laa. If rasa okay, there's a chance to have a bright future together. Happy family lalalaaaa hahaha like that laa. Lama dah saya x rasa camtu. Well hello? Earth to Joanna, of course laa, its been em.. 11 months I've been single. What the! Almost a year hahaha. Seriously dude, didn't realize it till now. I never count it haha. Funny. How time flies fast. And I didn't feel lonely pun. I'm not desperate to get into a relationship. I AM PICKY you knowww. I'm not that kinda girl who desperately jumps into a relationship with someone who I just met. Or someone who I knew from a friend that I never meet face to face. Really! What is it with those type of girls? Especially those who cannot stand to be single. Excuse me, I've been single for 11 months and I'm still breathing --" No offense but I got a friend that's just like that. But I won't mention her name laa cause I love her. To bits! Although sometimes I feel pity with her. She always got into an unhealthy relationship. Like, really unhealthy! She numerously has relationship with those jerks who just wanted her body. After got what they want, the dumped her. Like the saying that goes "habis madu, sepah dibuang". Soooooo cruel. Those guys don't have real balls. Pardon my inappropriate language. Let me share something private. I've been in 7 relationships. Almost all of em are Muslims. 6/7 to be exact. 3/7 are those JERKS. Hubungan belum sampai sebulan sudah minta lebih. Pathetic. They obviously got the wrong girl. Ingat virginity bole kasi balik ka? Kalau banyak berjual di mana-mana pasar raya like Giant, Bestmart, Servay, Tesco or other shopping malls lama sudah saya pajak banyak-banyak. Ishh mun mau melepas nafsu bagus pergi langgan prostitutes sejaa. Nah kn geram sudah saya haha. Hm tukar tajuk. Major my EX-es were not my type. I don't really have a type but, You know what I mean right? Tapi saya perasaan sayang tu memang ada laaa. No matter la tahap "sangat" or "sangat sangat sangat" haha. But I don't know why.. Out of all the relationships I had, there's only one guy that I really really REALLY love. But he's not mine. We were not in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" title. I love him for his personality. Then everything about him seemed beautiful in my eyes.. Thats probably the most appropriate way to be in love with someone I think. To be honest, I never thought I would fall for him. Its way out of my expectations. I fell in love with him slowly. It took times. Not like the sudden feelings I had with the other EX-es. And thats why for me to forget him really took a very long time. Until now, deep in my heart, I know those feelings for him still remains there somewhere.. I just don't wanna look for it anymore. Bikin sakit hati jaa. Ughhh. Atukuiiii I wrote too much haha. Jiwang karat yawww! K laa I'm super duper sleepy now. Wanna sleep already. Tatatataaaa good night :D God bless :)

Monday, February 10, 2014

Testing testing 1 2 3.. Whoaaa for real! Its been a very long time since I last updated you. Hm. Happy New Year 2014! Hope this year would be a fantastic memorable year for me. This is the year where imma search my true self. My true identity. My true ambition and passion. This will be the year where I just wanna try everything. For eg; going clubbing, getting high, get myself a tattoo, get a piercing on my belly button. I just want to try everything sooooo bad. Its normal right? I mean, I'm just a teenage girl who has just turn 18 last month. Errr starting 12 days ago to be exact haha! Plus, I am a very curious and rebel girl. I admit it. I. Am. Quite. Rebel. But there's something in me that keeps on stopping me from accomplishing my crazy "cravings" haha. But that's good! I know that all those things are so not healthy for me. For my future. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN MY LIFE! Oh yah. And I know there'll be new characters in my life any sooner. Im just hoping God would meet me up with those type of friends who won't let me down, who won't hurt me in any circumstances and won't ever leave me when I need them the most. And I will try to be a better person. A great friend :) I dont really know where the future will take me and which path im going but all I know is God has made me great plans for in life. Though I know there'll be times where I would fall so hard, where I would feel there's no hope for me out there in my real life but the Lord, Jesus Christ my Saviour! Im not wishing bad things to happen to me, but it's just cliche. Every year there will be that hard moments. The sky doesn't always stay blue right? There will be that damn weather like storms but in the end, out comes the rainbow! Like that laa quite a bit hahaha :P we will always get through it for God is always there for us :) Praise the Lord! Halelujah! Thanks Lord, for giving me a great life. Its not that perfect but I know there're people who is less fortunate than me. And for that I am grateful and thankful for what I possess. That's all for today :)

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Hellooooooo thereeee! >< Like seriously, long time no story story ohh. Its been a busy year bah. I've no time to update you. So many things going on and i've been longing to tell you. Err.. Which one should i tell first? Ahahhh! Bout this one laa.

1st STORY;
On this very date; 020213. I was in a relationship with a senior (form 5 when i was form 1). Can't mention his name. It was my first time couple with an older guy. I mean.. Way older than me. He's 21 now. And he's really mature. But i kinda liked it :) Why? Cuz.. He has these sporting, funny & crazy attitude that makes me feel comfortable around him. You know, that kinda guy that you can act silly with. Best relationship ever! ^^ But sorry-sorry laa, this relationship i had with him is so vice-versa! Wanna know why? Well, let me story.. He once brought me to Labuan Seasport. At night. Damn i was crazy that time. What was i thinking? I trust ppl too much. Lucky me we didn't do anything stupid that time. Thank God :) but actually that night, he ask me for a kiss. My FIRST KISS! And if i resist, he won't send me back home. Come on laa. Ingat sa ne budak kecil laa mau ugut-ugut camtue? Dude, agak-agak laa. You've asked on the wrong girl. Im so not that type. I may be a sporting & a bit rebellious girl, but im just not like the other girls out there, okay? Im just being open minded. Lagi pun si Jo ne beriman ahh. Good girl ne. Pikir cincai ka? Hahaha :P Eeee.. Baru first date sudah tapujii bawa bawa org buat bnda cmtue. Puh-leeez! =,= He tried to touch my hand but i didn't let him. It took almost 1/2 hr to make him stop persuading. And yeah, im so damn glad i survived that moment. Me & Vera had promised to keep our 1st kiss until we finished high school. And if can, until we got married with the most suitable man :) That would be amazing, right? Tabik spring for myself if i could do that. Hahahaha :D Hm. What else ah? Ohh yaa.

2nd STORY;
I actually fell in love with someone. Someone that i shouldn't fell in love with. Why? Coz he's taken already! Mad ka? And i don't wanna be the 3rd person. That would be suck! And im a girl. I know how his gf would feel if she knows her bf with other girls. If im in her place, i would punch the girl in the face! (..and frankly, that would be me) Hahaha :D silly.. Hm. So i made my decision. I should BACK OFF. Just be friends. Nothing more. That's enough. Okay, Jo? I just don't wanna hurt anybody. Especially his gf. She's a nice girl and i like her.. Although i know i'll hurt myself trying to forget him. Acting like i didn't care about him. In fact, im hurt right now.. And it hurts really bad. This is one of the reasons why I hate falling in love. If i love someone, i love them TOO MUCH. Stupid, right? HA-HA for me. I hope they'll be together forever :) God bless their relationship. Amennn :) Okay laa. The other stories, later later laa i'll tell k. I wanna take my bath first. Byee you, Bloggiee ^^ ILY ~

Friday, November 23, 2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

In B.O.R.I.N.G mode

Haloooo dear bloggieeee:) im damn bored ohh. At Papar now. Sda lha line celcom cne gilaa2 POOR. Txting pn susa. Hailohhh :/ Hm. Wht to do ek? Ohh eyaa. Meher eh c Erick tuh. Whtderrr man! Im not ur sis! Nda prnah2 pn sa M.A.U .. Hishhhh. Problem ehh. Hilg stu bro, dpt bro bru. Tp yg ne bari galiii. To be honest, he's nice.. Friendly. I like the way he is. But he hve diz strange feelings. He said if im not his sis, surely he'll ask me out. Wants to hug me lha. Pastue cket2 plan mw jmpa. Like a "date" knunn.Pleaseee lha. Aiyeee.. At 1st im okay wif tht. Always think positive. Tp lma2 makin mnjd2 sda dy. Tapujii kn. hahaha :P #So bad ohh me :D oke lha. Mw mamam dluan. Byee :) ILY soooo muchhhh

Saturday, November 17, 2012

"Sad but NOT regret".. :')

Hyee :) IMY darlaaaa >.< so damn much.. Sorry lma ta story. 
I've been facing wif lots of probs. But now im okay :) Oke, now let me talk.. 

Its been.. emm.. entah how many days we didn’t contact each other. And im hoping tht we’ll stay like diz.. coz im starting to forget him. No need to mention his name. ANONYMOUS. But there's still a hint though.

Briefly, our relation went wrong. But not spcl pn. Frankly, its my fault. Err.. I think laa. I suffocated him wif my bullshits. Yes, I admit I over-interrupted his life. Though I knew he’s busy there. To him, Im just an annoying, useless, life suffocating, little twerp tht gives a "pain in the butt". Yes. I knew it. Im sure wif it. Cuz I can feel it.. 

But I didn’t mean to.. U see, I was just trying to be a nice..loving.. and caring lil sys.. I was just trying to protect THE relation. Dont want it to break. Dont want the distance between us to seperate us.. Don’t want it to end by keeping in touch wif him. Wrong ka pla? 

Well, sorry then :( Clearly, my plans didn’t work quite like i wanted. In fact, it went out really WRONG. Know why? Cuz it turn out to be a STUPID plan.. Tht i didnt realize from the beginning. And it ends wif even more PATHETICALLY.. Me, requesting to stop being his lil sys. 

I don’t know why I was damn emosii tht nite. I was EGO. Maybe I was influenced wif wht he had once told me. He said he’s ultra ego. Cruel. Not a good bro. Tht made me hate him moreeee.. 

Then HAHA for me :’) Sndri sedihh. So much for my hepy ending ~ No use of BOO-HOO MOMENT. Yep. I deserve diz, rite? Cant deny, im sad. Sad but not regret :) maybe diz is the best for both of us. Maybe there’s something even more bad will happen if it didn’t end. Everything happens for a reason, rite? Hahaha :D 

To be honest, I didn’t quite remember when it all ends. I mean the date. I forgot.. I just remember when it all started o.O .. #feeling awkward here. Hahaha. But thts a good thing lha. 

Yeahhh~ atlast, Jo manage to take it easy :) Thank God.. im starting a new chapter. I’ll reduce my trust to ppls from 100% to 80%. And I’ll try not to love someone terribly. Excpt my dearest family an U, Jesus :3 Hm. Okayyy.. Enough lha. I talked too much. Hahaha xP Last thing to say ;

Bye MIF. Byee LNX. And goodbyeee.. BRO :’)  

***THE END***