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Saturday, February 15, 2014

Those darn flashbacks..

Olaaaa :) hm today is Valentines Day. And I'm celebrating it with.. *drum roll* JENG JENG JENGGGG.. No one!!! Yayyy me~ Forever alone haha. Alaaa if I have someone pun, still I won't celebrate it anyway. Its awkward. And weird. Idk why. Maybe it's because I never celebrate it with the right guy :') hahaha. Hm. I'm chatting with Aqeef now :) I like him soooooo much! He's a sweet guy! He's adorable, he's funny, he's romantic.. In a clear statement, he's a dream boyfriend :) But unfortunately, we don't share the same religion. That's the most important thing tau for me to look forward for a long-term relationship. It's not that I don't like Muslim. But I'm that kind of girl who takes relationship very seriously. You know what I mean right? I always looking forward to have future together. Yeah it's really lame, I know. And I know a lot of guys hate that kinda girl. They'd be like "What the hell is wrong with this freakin' gurlllll?!" Hahahaha almost like that laa. But it's common apa. Girls always imagine to have future with their beloved one. According to their man's attitude laa. If rasa okay, there's a chance to have a bright future together. Happy family lalalaaaa hahaha like that laa. Lama dah saya x rasa camtu. Well hello? Earth to Joanna, of course laa, its been em.. 11 months I've been single. What the! Almost a year hahaha. Seriously dude, didn't realize it till now. I never count it haha. Funny. How time flies fast. And I didn't feel lonely pun. I'm not desperate to get into a relationship. I AM PICKY you knowww. I'm not that kinda girl who desperately jumps into a relationship with someone who I just met. Or someone who I knew from a friend that I never meet face to face. Really! What is it with those type of girls? Especially those who cannot stand to be single. Excuse me, I've been single for 11 months and I'm still breathing --" No offense but I got a friend that's just like that. But I won't mention her name laa cause I love her. To bits! Although sometimes I feel pity with her. She always got into an unhealthy relationship. Like, really unhealthy! She numerously has relationship with those jerks who just wanted her body. After got what they want, the dumped her. Like the saying that goes "habis madu, sepah dibuang". Soooooo cruel. Those guys don't have real balls. Pardon my inappropriate language. Let me share something private. I've been in 7 relationships. Almost all of em are Muslims. 6/7 to be exact. 3/7 are those JERKS. Hubungan belum sampai sebulan sudah minta lebih. Pathetic. They obviously got the wrong girl. Ingat virginity bole kasi balik ka? Kalau banyak berjual di mana-mana pasar raya like Giant, Bestmart, Servay, Tesco or other shopping malls lama sudah saya pajak banyak-banyak. Ishh mun mau melepas nafsu bagus pergi langgan prostitutes sejaa. Nah kn geram sudah saya haha. Hm tukar tajuk. Major my EX-es were not my type. I don't really have a type but, You know what I mean right? Tapi saya perasaan sayang tu memang ada laaa. No matter la tahap "sangat" or "sangat sangat sangat" haha. But I don't know why.. Out of all the relationships I had, there's only one guy that I really really REALLY love. But he's not mine. We were not in a "boyfriend-girlfriend" title. I love him for his personality. Then everything about him seemed beautiful in my eyes.. Thats probably the most appropriate way to be in love with someone I think. To be honest, I never thought I would fall for him. Its way out of my expectations. I fell in love with him slowly. It took times. Not like the sudden feelings I had with the other EX-es. And thats why for me to forget him really took a very long time. Until now, deep in my heart, I know those feelings for him still remains there somewhere.. I just don't wanna look for it anymore. Bikin sakit hati jaa. Ughhh. Atukuiiii I wrote too much haha. Jiwang karat yawww! K laa I'm super duper sleepy now. Wanna sleep already. Tatatataaaa good night :D God bless :)

Monday, February 10, 2014

Testing testing 1 2 3.. Whoaaa for real! Its been a very long time since I last updated you. Hm. Happy New Year 2014! Hope this year would be a fantastic memorable year for me. This is the year where imma search my true self. My true identity. My true ambition and passion. This will be the year where I just wanna try everything. For eg; going clubbing, getting high, get myself a tattoo, get a piercing on my belly button. I just want to try everything sooooo bad. Its normal right? I mean, I'm just a teenage girl who has just turn 18 last month. Errr starting 12 days ago to be exact haha! Plus, I am a very curious and rebel girl. I admit it. I. Am. Quite. Rebel. But there's something in me that keeps on stopping me from accomplishing my crazy "cravings" haha. But that's good! I know that all those things are so not healthy for me. For my future. I DON'T WANT TO RUIN MY LIFE! Oh yah. And I know there'll be new characters in my life any sooner. Im just hoping God would meet me up with those type of friends who won't let me down, who won't hurt me in any circumstances and won't ever leave me when I need them the most. And I will try to be a better person. A great friend :) I dont really know where the future will take me and which path im going but all I know is God has made me great plans for in life. Though I know there'll be times where I would fall so hard, where I would feel there's no hope for me out there in my real life but the Lord, Jesus Christ my Saviour! Im not wishing bad things to happen to me, but it's just cliche. Every year there will be that hard moments. The sky doesn't always stay blue right? There will be that damn weather like storms but in the end, out comes the rainbow! Like that laa quite a bit hahaha :P we will always get through it for God is always there for us :) Praise the Lord! Halelujah! Thanks Lord, for giving me a great life. Its not that perfect but I know there're people who is less fortunate than me. And for that I am grateful and thankful for what I possess. That's all for today :)